I-we-owe everyone an apology.

Yeah, I know it's been a while since the last Kinkaid update.  "Teresas," you no doubt have been saying, "Where are you?  What are you doing?  How will I go on without my weekly dose of Vitamin K?"

Or maybe you just started reading more Heroes Unbound! or Paraweb for news and (more often than not) rumors.  Amazing, how in a world if instant communication people still get stuff wrong.

But enough of that!  Both, yes, both of us are back, linked via the internet and ready to read and answer your fanatic mail.  Since so many of the e-mails concern several major subjects we thought we would address them in a broad and general manner.  We apologize for the lack of the personal touch we here at the lab normally provide but we think this is for the best.  Don't worry, this will not be a regular occurrence at the lab.
 

QUESTION #1: What is the future of Avant Guard?

Avant Guard is alive and well.  At this point I cannot discuss items such as funding and jurisdiction, but rest assured the team is still in the game.  We are headed to Pure Power's Plant for some much needed training and to rub elbows with greatness.  We haven't lost a single member and everyone is fully committed to making themselves better heroes.  In fact, we have a new team member, but I don't want to go into too much detail about him; I want the bad guys to find out the hard way.  And to quote a member of my team: "If you think Avant Guard
kicked ass before, wait till you see them *after* they've been trained by Pure Power."  Truer words, baby, truer words...
 

QUESTION #2: Okay, enough dodging; what's up between you and Vortex?

The rumor was the two of us vacationed in DC together, but that isn't exactly what happened.  Yeah, we were both in that airport when The Sorcerer and Seductra attacked but we did not arrive together.  Vortex was visiting family and I had just come from visiting some of my own.

What?  Oh, My Other Half has accused me of dodging again.

Okay, yes, Vortex and I are very much an item now in every sense of the word, fill in your own blanks.  Is it love?  I don't know.  It feels like love.  I mean, I've got that free-fall feeling in my gut without having to jump, and I get all a-quiver whenever he's around and we're alone.  But the "L" word scares me, and I think maybe it scares Mike a bit, too.  He's gone through a divorce, I've had my fair share of heartbreak.  We are two adults trying to feel our way through our emotions, and to be honest it can be a little hard when the world is watching.  That's not a slam against you guys, I know you're curious.  Just give us a little breathing room, 'kay?
 

Y2K: I think that was a little too honest.

TOO: I think it was beautiful.  Really.  You shouldn't be afraid of being honest.

Y2K: Still, I think I want to avoid this question for now.

TOO: Okay, okay, I promise I won't post it. Honest :)
 

QUESTION #3: What the hell happened in Motor City before Christmas?!

The shit storm of the century happened, that's what.  Hard Winter said "Merry Christmas" and tried breaking out the Hobbes brothers.  There's been this talk about "excessive force" being passed around.  I've got three words for you people; kiss my ass!  You weren't there, you didn't see twelve dead FBI agents and US Army soldiers, or the more than forty cases of near-terminal frostbite that resulted in the amputation of numerous fingers and toes.  Four men suffered brain damage from terminal cold, another has suffered a phobia so bad he can't even look at ice cubes without having a panic attack.  And let's not forget Corona almost dying as well. I don't condone excessive force or unnecessary violence, but I won't shed tears over Glacier losing his leg, either.

And just a few hours later the gang found out Heavy Metal had done a job, cleaing out a safe deposit repository.  I'm sick of hearing all this flack about the team not stopping them.  You don't win 'em all, people.  We are paranormals, not super human.  Super humans can be found in comic books, paranormals are humans with extra-ordinary abilties. But we make mistakes, we get tired, we get pushed to the limits.  Heavy Metal had that job planned for months and we missed it.  I'm very sorry a man died, maybe because we weren't able to stop it but that man was responsible for that job going through in the first place.   He put himself in harm's way, he put his head in the lion's mouth.  Is that cold logic?  Yeah, it is.  That's what bred from frustration.
 

QUESTION #4: What the hell happened in Silver City?!

You want to talk about shit storms, that was a huge one.  I'm just glad My Other Self was there in town to help back my team up.  Avant Guard is good but I never say "no" to an extra pair of helping hands, if you know what I mean.  We had disgruntled contestants, robot rats, bizarre alien beings from right out of a Cthulu novel and armored, hi-tech vampires.  Oh yeah, it was like the super villain buffet table and we had extra helpings.

But we won, they lost.  We lost a base but we're moving on.  We aren't sure who is behind it yet but it's only a matter of time before we track 'em down and serve up a dish of whup-ass ourselves.  You reading this, assholes?  I hope you are.  Avant Guard isn't through with you, not nearly.
 

QUESTION #5: Rumor has it the two of you are sporting a new look.  Is this true?

About a year ago I had adopted the black and red leather look, and it worked for me.  But I usually went around in public in "civvies".  I've decided to go full leather, 24/7.  No more trying to fit in, no more dressing up in suits to try and look "normal".  I'm not normal, I'm paranormal.  I'm thirty four years old, going to be thirty five really soon, and I still look fifteen.  That's not bitterness you're hearing, just stating the facts.  Why bother trying to fit in?  Instead, for now on I'm embracing my unique nature and abandoning my "civvies" for good.

Uh, besides, when the firehouse got bombed I lost my entire wardrobe.  But that has nothing to do with it.  Really!

I'm sporting a bit of a new look myself.  Now that I'm becoming more active in the field I've taken to wearing that Vortex sidekick outfit I wore at last year's Halloween party.  What the hell, I look pretty good in green and the shorts show off my legs.  I have great legs, Vortex says so.

TOO: You do have great legs.  And a great ass.

Y2K: You aren't going lesbo on me, are you?

TOO: I have needs, Teresa.  I never realized until there were two of us what warm brown eyes I have...

Y2K: I am so glad you are in another state right now.  Hey, you wouldn't publish this stuff, right?  This chat's private.

TOO: I wouldn't dream of it. :-D

'Til next time, here are both Kinkaids signing off!  Be good, unless the one you love wants you to be bad...